Pumpkin Picking With Twins; Tantrums and More

Last week, my mother and I went to my families new residence in Virginia Beach, VA. If anyone lives in Green Run, let me know! I love to do activities with my children and now that they are two, it is so much fun to go out and do more things. I was anxious (my mother as well) to take them pumpkin picking. 

I always think that my children are going to enjoy all the activities, that they share in my excitement. In my mind, my children are well behave. In reality, they are well behave, but they also have their moments. 

When we arrived to the Pumpkin Farm, the girls were ubber (yes, ubber) excited just to get out of the car. As we got closer to the pumpkins, Milani was a little frightened by the size of some of them. Mya, was not interested in the sea of orange and was more content walking around the entire farm. I told her that we could not walk around the farm and she threw herself in the grass to have one of her Mya tantrums. 

Mya having her moment

Usually, I would pick her up and console her. This time, I tried a new tactic. I walked away. To the new moms out there, this might seem extreme. But, it was effective. Why? Because at that moment I turned my back, I heard these little feet coming running after me and then in one second, her little hand cupped mine. The reason? I was not feeding into her attention seeking and at that moment, I had full control. 

Meanwhile, Milani picked out her pumpkin and one for Mya. Milani was so excited that she showed everyone her pumpkin, I mean EVERYONE! She even went to the lady selling flowers and showed her the pumpkin. 

It was a quick visit to the Pumpkin Farm but any day with the girls is a great day!

Parenting From A Distance: IPhone FaceTime & My Husband Is the Greatest

First, let me thank those who have taking the time to "like" my Facebook page. It really means a lot. We went from 72 likes to 98 in one day! I am excited to continue to share my journey, tips, advice with you all. I hope you all are eager to read. I also want to take this time to apologize for my previous post, which I have deleted. Now, I don't apologize for what I said, I apologize for not giving more of a back story. I have been called disgusting, disgraceful among other words all because I have an opinion about my family. Let's not get it twisted, I have a relationship with my step children. I don't dislike them nor do I treat them with any disrespect. I am not going to delve much further into this issue. The only thing that matters is that my husband understands where I am coming from and that all that matters. Why did I delete the post? I deleted the post because when it was written, I was  very angry. Not with my husband but angry. The post really didn't express my true feelings, only the feelings that I felt that particular day. For that, I am sorry that you all may have this opinion of me that is completely untrue. If you want the back story, just ask.

Anyway.

A few know because I do not have many friends or any friends for that matter, that my family has relocated to Virginia Beach. What people may not know is that I am still in New York and my daughters are in Virginia Beach. Having them leave me to go down to their new home was the hardest decision I had to make. But, I had to face the facts. The facts are:
1. I live with my mother who lives in a studio apartment, which equals not enough room. She lives in a BEAUTIFUL apartment, in fact is it the same apartment I grew up in. My  mother has lived in the same building before I was born. As nice as it is, there wasn't enough space for me, the girls and my husband.

2. Couldn't find daycare. I thought finding daycare in New York would be easy, but I was wrong. I had better luck finding daycare in New Jersey. The daycare in New York are so expensive. However, waiting to the last minute as I love to do, I applied for childcare subsidy, which I was approved recently. But my girls are going to start daycare in VA next week so, too late.

I miss my daughters every single day. Some days I do not feel like a mother. I use to wake up, my husband and I take the girls to daycare, go to work, come home, pick up the girls and my other job as a mother continues. Now, I have this old familiar freedom that I would trade just to have my girls with me in New York. It is a sad life I have now, which ends in October. I go to work and come to my mothers house. I now have so much time on my hands that I am able to study, watch my favorite shows and blog to you guys about my recent woos. But, I would give anything to have my girls.

For now, I parent from a distance, thanks to IPhones and ITouch, I am able to see my girls all the time. And yes, my girls are pros at using the IPhones and ITouch. We talk, they tell me about their day (most of it is babble), I get to see how much they have grown. It is great I get to see them, but I wish that I could touch them and give them a hug all the time.

Parenting from a distance. Who would have thought that my marriage would start with us living a part. Who would have thought that I had no choice but to have my kids live in their new state, new city, new community? I know they are not with a stranger, they are with their father, my amazing husband, but being away from my children is like a mother lion being away from her cubs.

A piece of me is missing.

This post is also dedicated to my husband. The only man that understands me, even with my faults, even with my "selfish thinking" he doesn't make me feel any less. He gets me. Being away from me and playing the role of mother and father has been rough on him but he has done a great job. Speaking to my girls and my husband tonight inspired me to right this post.

My husband told me that one of the girls did not  take a nap today and when I did facetime, she was IRATE! When one of the twins is having a tantrum, the other takes it upon herself to start as well. My husband had to deal with not one but TWO screaming two year old. And you know what? He did it effortless. He didn't loose his patience, he didn't loose his cool, he cuddle them, cooed, and reassured them that he was doing the best he could. My husband went and got their bottle while holding both of them. As I listened to the girls cry, I felt that anxiety, that feeling to shut them up and quickly start boiling inside. I felt frustrated for him, because when they double team me, that is how I feel. But, my husband didn't loose face. He was not defeated by any means. He got the girls into bed with their night bottle and lights out.

Simply amazing. I don't know any man that can handle two year old twins like my husband. He is father of the century in my opinion.

I get to see the girls and my husband again this weekend, Labor Day Weekend and I am going to enjoy every morsel!

Mega HELL Trip: 16 Hours Only To Go To Hampton, VA

First thing first; Do you like our new page? Do you like our new header? More importantly, do you like that we are back? I tried recreating a new blog on Wordpress but frankly, I think blogger is much easier to use. So, I am in the process of moving those blogs to this one or, I will just post the links in individual blogs.

Anyway.

For those who do not know, which is quite a few, for the past three months, my family has been separated. I will not get into detail here, that is for another blog, but due to a recurrent of events, we had to evacuate our apartment in NJ and live separately; I am living in Brooklyn and my husband was living in PA. Due to another event, we decided that this was the best time to pack up, start over and move to VA, more specifically, Virginia Beach. We discussed moving back to the Hampton roads area for years and when ish hit the fan in NJ, we thought now was a great time as any to give our children a better life and that is what we did. We now have a house (rented) in Virginia Beach. My husband and children are there while I am still working in New York, trying to figure out the best way to let my boss know that I have to resign from my position. Several factors come into play:

1. My husband finding a job and soon. This makes it a little more complicated because the girls are with him. Long story short, I kept running into dead ends in regards to finding daycare in New York. They were either too expensive or the last resort, subsidy program, will not start until September. We thought it might make sense to have them go to daycare in the area which they now reside. Of course, I miss them terribly.

2. Me, finding a job. This tough. I haven't had much luck in this area. It may be easier to find a job when I am actually in the location. Human resources see my VA address but notice I work in New York.

3. Money saved. We do not have much saved as a cushion. We are working on that though.

So, that is my life thus far in a nutshell. Crazy right? So, I decided that I would visit my family for a bit until I make the permanent move to Virginia. The most inexpensive option was to take  MegaBus. MegaBus (and I say this lightly now), is a good alternative to Greyhound. It is affordable, free wifi, hence why I am able to write this post, and the people are not too bad. I am sorry, I have run into some ratchet people on Greyhound that has made my journey very unpleasant.

 I know this Megabus UK but the caption summarizes my trip

The only scheduled bus heading to Hampton (not VA Beach), was at 12:40am. I left Friday at 11:00 just to be toward the front of the line, which was a success. The bus was a couple of minutes late, but that was no big deal. Unfortunately, I did not get a sit to myself, I had the "pleasure" of sitting next to this college student who talked to his girlfriend half the night and gave me no room to go to sleep. However, he was the least of my worries.

After I decided to get a nap in, I woke up and notice that we were in the City of Philadelphia. That was strike one. The route to Hampton does not stop in Philadelphia. Even with that in mind, the bus driver had the nerve to take forever in a day to unload luggage and do God no what else.

Strike two and this a a HUGE strike, I decided to take a nap again only to wake up to miles and miles of traffic. I couldn't even tell you how long we were in traffic but by the looks of it, the driver wasn't bright enough to get off at the nearest exit. I overheard customers discussing that they had to change to another bus in D.C. Something told me to check my ticket and sure enough, I too had to transfer in DC. This wouldn't have been a problem if the bus did not leave at 6:30am and here we are STUCK in TRAFFIC nowhere NEAR DC and it is, yup, you guessed it, 6:30am. I was no longer getting to Hampton at 10:45am.

Finally, the bus driver to decides to take an alternate route. Actually, he had no choice because the remainder of the I-95 was closed off.  Rather than let the customers on the bus know what was going on or even apologize, the bus driver decides to keep driving, even though it is apparent, he has no idea where he is going. It becomes more apparent that he lost, when we arrive at a military base.

We arrive in Washington DC at 9:30am. From 12:40 to 9:30am I was on the bus.

I wish my journey ended there.

The next bus was to arrive at 10:45AM. I immediately called Mega Bus customer service to let them know how upset I was. The representative, nonchalant told me to express my complaints via email. I hung up. Then, the Mega Bus employees in the station told us that we would have to pay a $5.00 surcharge to get on the next bus. All hell broke loose which changed the employees mind from us paying $5.00 to nothing.

10:45 came and went. We did not load the almost full bus until 11:44. By that point, my back hurt, my legs were cramped, I was hungry and my lips were dry. With major traffic between DC and Richmond, I did not arrive to Hampton, VA till 4:45PM. So lets recap; 12:40AM Friday Morning, to 4:45PM Friday afternoon. 16 HOURS!!!!! 16 HOURS!! But oh no, my journey did not stop there. I was so glad that my husband and my children were on time because if I had to wait one more second...It wasn't going to be pretty.

Traffic wasn't so bad heading to VA Beach but the only thing that was on my mind was a hamburger and sleep. I was excited, however, to see my new house. FYI, we did not purchase a house, we are renting a house with the option to buy in one year. I might add that I love my new home. It is in a quiet neighborhood and although the kitchen needs some work, I am glad that I do not have anyone living on top of me or below me.

I am glad that we have made the move to VA Beach. I think this will turn out great.

However, I will no longer take Megabus to VA Beach. I am actually flying back home and will make my ticket for the next time I visit, which will be the last time because the final time I am there to stay.