Throwback Thursdays: When The Girls Came Home!

I can't believe it is Thursday already! Anyway, it is throwback Thursday where I go back in time when my girls were newborn, or anything that comes to mind that is the past and showcase it. It seems that ever since I had children, I am more of aware of all the mothers that are pregnant or with children. For example, the area in Manhattan, where I work, I see nothing but strollers, pregnant women and my favorite, yup, you guessed it, TWINS! Every time I see newborns, it makes me reminisce of when my girls were that young and the first time I brought them home.

The Story...Summarized Version

I have told this story a thousand times, but, it never gets old. Monday, July 18, 2011, I went to the hospital to start monitoring the girls hearts when the nurse told me that I was having contractions. Now, I was on bedrest for two months already due to my cervix opening at 24 weeks. So, the nurses and my doctor told me that I had to stay overnight. Tuesday, July, 19, 2011, my cervix was 3cm. I was going to deliver at 32 weeks and one day via c-section. At 6PM, Mya was born but she was not breathing so they had to suction some of the liquid out and then five seconds later, she was screaming! She weighed 3lbs 9oz. 6:01PM, Milani was born, screaming! She was not thrilled to be out of the womb early. She weighed 3lbs 1oz. They stayed in the NICU for less a month. They were breathing on their own the next day, all they needed to do was learn how to feed and gain weight.

Mya Came Home First

Then Milani a week later

Together at Last

10 Things I Learned: One Year After Having Twins

I usually post about twins on Tuesdays, but because I have been laxed in blogging (my apologies) I decided to post on Wednesday. Wednesday is Words of Wisdom, so in a sense, the topic kind of falls into the category...kind of.

After blogging for quite awhile, I start to run out of ideas for content. I began questioning, what is it that my readers find interesting in my blog? Is it what I write? Is it my twins (of course it is my girls!). I went on one of the twin blogs I read A Day In the Life and one of her posts was the 10 things she learned about raising twins one year later. This topic is way over due, but I think it is one that many would like to know.

Beach Theme First Birthday

The girls turned one on July 19th 2011 and as my fiance and I sat (as we usually do) reminiscing of the beginning of being parents to twins, we couldn't help but come up with the same answers; excited, overjoyed, anger, frustration, stress, sleep deprived, happy, the list went on an on. Not to think highly of myself, but I am really blessed that God chose me to have twins. I am not perfect, I am definitely not a perfect mother (although I would like to think so) but I have learned a lot of lessons through out the way.

1. Do Not Listen To Mothers With Only One Child or Had Children Back to Back: I use to and still receive a lot of comments of mothers who have one child or had children back to back trying to relate with me in regards to raising twins. I hate to say it, although you may THINK having two kids back to back is like having twins, it really isn't. SORRY! Raising twins is very different, it is time consuming and there isn't anything a mother with one child or two children (different ages) could tell you. It is best to seek advice from mothers of multiples. You will be surprise how much similarity there is.

2. Do Not Compare Yourself With Other Mommies: I would get very annoyed at the blogs from other moms of multiples sharing their insights on cooking, activity, while I was about to pull my weave out from Mya staying up half the night. Other moms seemed very calm and collected and here I was during the first few months about to pass out. This also goes back to my lesson 1, I would also compare myself to mothers who had one baby and notice how calm they were. I had to say to myself, they have one baby, they have it so easy. I would even get annoyed when one would write on Facebook or a blog how tired they were with one child. In my head, I would scream "TRY TWO!" Every set of twins are different and I had to stop looking at other parents and focus on my girls. I did get some great advice from mothers of multiples but my family structure is different and I had to do what worked for us.

3. Prioritize: Guess what? Unless you have a maid, that once spotless house is no more. The time you had to do arts and crafts, may have to take a back seat for awhile. Five minute meals and frozen dinners are now your best friend and your spouse has to develop more patience than ever. If a family member wants to help, LET THEM! You are not supermom, you are not going to have it together all the time. Twins take a lot of energy. Just because they are twins, does not mean they do everything in sync. One may start to cry and you have to attend that one and then five minutes later, the other twin needs something. As the girls have gotten older, things have gotten less stressful, however, they are starting to walk....

4. It Is Ok To Cry: The bathroom became my best friend the first few months with the girls. I was a stay at home mom for 10 months and while my fiance was at work, it was just me and the girls. There were times the girls would double team and start crying at the same time. Plenty of times the girls would not go to sleep even though they were exhausted. To regain my composure and not take it out on the girls, I would find a peace of mind in the bathroom and there is where I would cry or yell with the doors closed. Raising twins is tough, it takes a strong woman to do this job, it is not for everyone. Sometimes, while I am feeding one, the other would cry. Who do you go to? Do you stop feeding to attend to the other? It's frustrating, especially when you are home with them by yourself. It is okay to let them cry it out for a little bit, I do not care what the books say. Sometimes they calm down on their own. You are doing a wonderful job, you have a handful, it is not easy.

5. Self-Care Is A Must: If you do not take care of yourself, how are you going to be of any good to the babies who need you? It is very easy to loose yourself when you are raising twins. You began to not care who you look, you are tired and just do not know where you going to find the energy. Some of the tasks on your very long list can wait! If you have help, go take a shower. If your spouse is home after work, let him take care of the babies while you get 20 minutes. Now that the girls are older, it is much easier to get at least 30 minutes to myself.

6. Routine But Be Flexible: Contradicting I know. However, it is good to get the girls on a schedule from feeding to play time to sleep time, however, you do not have to do this everyday because the world does not work on a schedule. The girls are in day care and their schedule there is much different as it at home. On the weekends, I sway off the schedule a little bit. Twins are not robots; sometimes at 11 am and it is time for a meal, they may not be hungry. You do not want to force them to eat because you are on a schedule. Schedules is for your sanity and to make things easier but often times it may not go as plan. It is okay!

7. Trust Your Gut: You will be bombarded with advice from other moms, especially mothers of one child as if they know what is like to raise twins. You know what is best for your twins, you are with them 24/7. Grandparents will be the first to manipulate your mind with stuff, IGNORE. You are the mother, you know what is best.

8. It Does Get Easier...Seriously: I use to role my eyes every time a mother would tell me that. Especially because the mother did not have twins. But, from a mother who is raising twins and is almost out of the storm (only to go back into another, terrible twos), it does get easier and it does get better. Raising newborn twins is probably the worst it can get. Once you get over that, it is really smooth sailing. You are understanding your children more and they are getting to know you better.

9. Cherish the Moments, Do Not Sweat The Small Stuff: Don't worry about the crying and the waking up in the middle of the night. Guess what? This is what we signed up for. There will be moments where you question, what was I thinking? or "I wish I could go back to when it was just my spouse and I for a second," however, twins grow up really fast and when they hit each milestones  and developments, especially if they were born preemies, cherish those moments. Do not sweat the other stuff. Yes, raising twins is stressful, but seeing these blessings that you created, how special they are, how different and yet similar they are, that is what is important. Enjoy everyone "aww's" and questioning when you walk down the street with them (yes, my girls are local celebrities). Most people wish they could have twins (why, I don't know, maybe it is because they have not HAD them), and they are living through you. Answer their questions, embrace them and just enjoy being a mom of twins.


10. Just Because They Are Twins, Does Not Mean They Are Alike: My twins are fraternal and I always thought that in the beginning they would be best friends. Nope. One is very aggressive, the other is laid back. Twin B is developing faster than Twin A. You can't treat each twin the same, sometimes you have to treat them as the individual.

Moms of multiples, you are doing a great job, WE are doing a great job. It does get easier, it does get better, you can seek advice but only you know what works best for you and your twins. Enjoy them!

31 Day Challenge - Day 4: Throwback Thursdays

Yes, I am back from hibernation! For those who do not know, the 31 day challenge is to blog every single day for 31 days about anything. The point is that you are challenged to blog every day. When I was a stay at home mom, this was not a challenge, this was a part of my day, but now that I am a working and school mom, this is definately a challenge, but I am up for it. I missed day one, two and three, so I will blog every day until November to make up for the days I missed. I decided, in order to organize myself, that I would categorizes for my blogs. Today is throwback Thursdays!

This throwback Thursday is a picture of me while pregnant with Mya and Milani:

Can you guess how many weeks I was?






27 Weeks! The story, my cervix opened 1 cm at 24 weeks and I was placed on bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy. Here I am on the couch in my first apartment in New Jersey, bored! I miss the feeling of the girls moving around my stomach. Post your pregnancy pictures on our facebook page! preemietwinandme!!

My Love/Hate Relationship With Daycare

Toward the end of May, I had to enroll my girls in daycare. I was offered a position making a decent salary and for my sanity, I could no longer be a stay at home mom. Not just for my sanity, but my fiance and I were barely making ends meet (still struggling with that as well). I knew that I had to get back into the workforce. No one forced me and I was still receiving unemployment, but the money was not enough. At the time I did not realize how luck I was to be able to stay home with my girls for 10 months (now I do). However, I had to find a daycare in three weeks.

Provider or Daycare?

My mother works for an organization that helps mothers (like myself) find a daycare or provider in the area, assist those in developing a daycare and assist those to become certified. I say this because my mother has trained me as to what to look for while searching for a provider or daycare. What is the difference between a provider and daycare? A provider is one who has a daycare in her or his home. Daycare is in a daycare center. As I began my process, I wasn't sure where I wanted my girls to stay; a provider or daycare? It came down to three things, reference, cost, and quality.

Researched equals Frustration 

My first tip is locate your local child care referral agency. In New York, there is the Day Care Council of New York and Center for Children's Initiatives. In New Jersey, it depends on what county your located. I unfortunately had the "pleasure" of working with the four C's. After contacting the agency, they emailed me a list of licensed providers. However, most of them spoke Spanish. I then contacted NACCRA, now called ChildCare Aware Of America. They were able to email me a list of daycare centers in New Jersey. I called every single one that was close to my area or in my area and I found one that was affordable, friendly and only 10 minutes away from my house.

When Visiting a Daycare 

Do not be fooled by the charming teachers and executive director. As a new mom, you must take a closer look at what is in front of you. Here are two great lists that I found on the four C's website and Center for Children's Initiatives website that I used to help narrow down the daycare centers.

• Checklist for Choosing Child Care Center (NJ) 
• Checklist for Choosing Child Care Center (NY)

Pros about Daycare 

It is never easy to leave your children with someone else for over 7 hours a day. I complained when I stayed home with them but now I wish I could stay home with them all the time. I miss them so much and I wonder what they are doing during the day. However, daycare has it perks:

• Your child (children) will socialize and interact with others 
• Your child will pick on new skills to add to their development: My girls would not hold the bottle, a week into daycare, my girls were able to hold their bottle, say "Mama" and "Dada", standing up and trying to walk. They learned to crawl in daycare as well. 
• Undivided attention: The teachers love my daughters. When I was home with them, I could not give them all of my attention because I had stuff that I needed to finish. 

Cons about Daycare 

Daycare is not all rainbows and glitter. There are some set backs of taking your child into daycare:

• Be prepared for your child to get sick more often: When my girls were home, they rarely were sick. Now that they have been exposed to other children; they have runny noses and coughs. The good thing is that it makes their immune system to work harder. 
• Staff does not work like a mother: I already created a routine with my girls and now that they are in daycare, they have a whole different schedule. I constantly wondering if they are getting fed everything, are they taken naps. However, the staff is wonderful so I stop worrying so much. 

The best part of daycare is picking my girls up and seeing them smile or crawl to me with excitement. It is the best feeling in the world! Any questions for us? Contact us at preemietwinsme@gmail.com

Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Has Been Pregnant Before

It is a question that most doctors ask mothers to be. It is a question that most mothers to be answer without hesitation. It is only when they give birth and their bundle or bundles of joy comes home that their answer sometimes change from the sure yes to the I do not think I can do this.

Breastfeeding. A word that when asked, the answer seems like a no brainier, until mothers have to deal with crying, screaming and every other headache of taken care of a newborn. My doctor asked me if I was going to breastfeed around my second trimester, like most, I did not hesitate. "Of course, Dr. R!" I exclaimed as if his question was ridiculous.

Then, my twins were born. The hospital made sure that a nurse came into the room and explained from breastfeeding, how to use the pump, the pros of giving your children breast milk to at least 6 months, etc. In my situation, I had an advantage. My girls had to stay in the NICU, which gave me plenty of time to pump milk and bring it to them. Every two hours of uninterrupted pumping I was able to do. In the NICU, I also did Kangaroo care as well as latch on, which didn't work out so well.

It wasn't until the girls came home my uninterrupted flow of producing breast milk came to a halt. It was hard to pump milk when one twin would start crying because they were hungry. I couldn't catch up to produce enough milk so that I would have some in the freezer ready and waiting.

When the girls turned four months, my milk supply went completely dry. I tried most of the tricks, looking at pictures of my girls to become emotional, drank tea and ginger. Nothing worked. After the four months, I turned to Similac formula and have not turned back. Now, my girls are 12 months and healthy.

This goes into my headline for the blog; Mayor Bloomberg of New York City who wants to crack down on mothers using formula for their babies and force them to breastfeed. Mayor Bloomberg has even gone as far as to have several hospitals in the city hide the formula from site in order to advocate for breastfeeding.

Yes, this is the same Mayor that wants to tell us fat New Yorkers that we are drinking too much soda and to get rid of the large size cups. I am all for breastfeeding; it is better for your little one when a mother is able to. Mayor Bloomberg speaks as if he knows what is like to be pregnant, as if he knows what it takes to breastfeed. It is more work than most think. Some mothers cannot produce enough milk for their children and therefore have to rely on formula.

What Mayor Bloomberg does not realize is that WE AS MOTHERS who carried our children for how ever many months can decide what we are going to give to our baby. Mayor Bloomberg, you are not the father of any of these children nor do you put food in their mouths. Mayor Bloomberg, you do not have the right nor the credentials to tell mothers what they can feed their babies.

Here is the catch. If mothers BEG for formula, the hospital is allowed to give it to them, but not without their last two cents on how breast milk is best. If mothers can breastfeed their children for a year, go for it. If you can't, that does not make you a bad mother. This is what formula is here for as a substitute with the nutritional substance that your children need. Specifically, my twins were born premature and if I could not supply them with milk while they were in the NICU, I knew they would drink Similiac Neosure. Why? They had chooses. Mayor Bloomberg, WE have choices!

I am not against breastfeeding, I have done it. I am against a MAN who has not carried any baby telling mothers what to do. Here is an article about the LatchOnNYC initiative .

What are you thoughts?

Personalized Water Label's Add that Spice To a Party

The girls had a great first birthday. Okay, they do not even know what day is, let alone that the family and friends came together to celebrate their birth. I, however, after a slow start to get the party going had a great time. The right people were there, it was intimate, fun and perfect. The weather held up as well. I could go on and on about the party, but I can let you see some of the photos for yourself. This blog, is dedicated to something that I may want to blog about in the future, homemade party decor.

The girls first birthday was a beach party theme and I searched everywhere on Google for beach party theme accessories and decor. During my search, I discovered this fabulous website (and maybe you have heard of it) PinInterest. I typed in the word beach and over five pages of individuals beach theme parties popped up everywhere! I began to take notes and print out the ideas that I loved.

I then discovered a website called CatchMyParty, where individuals upload photos of their best parties, give ideas and the website owner has a section of free printables such as banners, invitations, cookie holders, etc.

What does this have to do with today's blog? EVERYTHING.

I discovered that I like to be creative and after looking through the photos of each party I noticed one common theme; each had custom water label's. For my RHOA (Real Housewives of Atlanta) fans, you may remember Phaedra having water label's with her son's face. Although over the top, it was the one little detail that added more POW to the party.

How to Make Water Labels


What you will need:

• scissors
• design software (optional)
• shipping tape or duct tape 
• water bottles 

1. If you have a design software such as Photoshop, you can design a water label template. For those who do not, you can easily use Microsoft word or power point to create the label. Whichever program you use, once you figure out what you would like on the bottle, create a shape that is 8.5 wide and 1.5 tall so that it will fit on 8.5 x 11 paper.

2. Not everyone is a graphic designer. If you cannot design anything by scratch; use clip art backgrounds or free stock photos, even fancy paper then add your text.

3. If using Photoshop or similar program. Save the image and insert into Word document. You may have to change the dimensions in Word to fit the actual size of the image. Copy and paste down till it fills the page. It is okay if they are touching each other. Print on regular white paper or any paper you like. I plain cardstock paper that I had at home. It is sturdier than regular white paper.

4. Cut until you have 8.5 x 1.5 strips. Do not get frustrated if they are not exact. I missed the part in class to cut straight and now I always cut on an angle #weird.

5. Once all the labels are cut, take your water bottles and strip it naked! In other words, take the original labels off the bottle :)

6. Take shipping tape or duct tape (make sure it is thick in width) and estimate the length. It should be a little but longer than the label, but not much. Lay the tape sticky side up and place the label, color down on the sticky part. There should be room around the tape and the label. Make sure you leave at least 1/4 inch of tape on the end of each label.

7. Apply to the water bottle. I make sure the text is centered and then go from there. Trust me, the back of the water bottle label will not be exact! I've tried million of times.

8. Then you are done. These are great accent pieces and also great party favors.

***Some instructions courtesy of cakelikesaparty.com
Enjoy!

**Want more how tos? Email us at preemietwinsme@gmail.com

Where Have We Been?

It is has been awhile and we have missed our mommy bloggers, readers and fans. I have not blogged in so long that I lost a follower. In one of my last blogs, I mentioned how hard it is has been to manage my time to write, work, school work, and take care of the babies. I will try to write more, however, I cannot promise every day like I use to. Yet, here is the Walker (and Simmons :) update:

The Mom

• Working Full-time for almost two months 
• Still in school, but struggling 
• Tired more than ever
• Trying to become more social
• Still loves her girls to death!! 
• Playing step mom to her step children who are here for the Summer

The Dad 

• Still the head of the household
• Working
• Enjoying his girls 
• Enjoying his other children who are here for the Summer
• Still loves video games 

The Girls: Mya Bear and Milani Cake 

• Turned One on Thursday, July 19th 
• Into everything

I will have a detailed update tomorrow on the girls. Not much has changed with us, just much busier. We haven't forgotten and will write tomorrow.