First, let me thank those who have taking the time to "like" my Facebook page. It really means a lot. We went from 72 likes to 98 in one day! I am excited to continue to share my journey, tips, advice with you all. I hope you all are eager to read. I also want to take this time to apologize for my previous post, which I have deleted. Now, I don't apologize for what I said, I apologize for not giving more of a back story. I have been called disgusting, disgraceful among other words all because I have an opinion about my family. Let's not get it twisted, I have a relationship with my step children. I don't dislike them nor do I treat them with any disrespect. I am not going to delve much further into this issue. The only thing that matters is that my husband understands where I am coming from and that all that matters. Why did I delete the post? I deleted the post because when it was written, I was very angry. Not with my husband but angry. The post really didn't express my true feelings, only the feelings that I felt that particular day. For that, I am sorry that you all may have this opinion of me that is completely untrue. If you want the back story, just ask.
A few know because I do not have many friends or any friends for that matter, that my family has relocated to Virginia Beach. What people may not know is that I am still in New York and my daughters are in Virginia Beach. Having them leave me to go down to their new home was the hardest decision I had to make. But, I had to face the facts. The facts are:
1. I live with my mother who lives in a studio apartment, which equals not enough room. She lives in a BEAUTIFUL apartment, in fact is it the same apartment I grew up in. My mother has lived in the same building before I was born. As nice as it is, there wasn't enough space for me, the girls and my husband.
2. Couldn't find daycare. I thought finding daycare in New York would be easy, but I was wrong. I had better luck finding daycare in New Jersey. The daycare in New York are so expensive. However, waiting to the last minute as I love to do, I applied for childcare subsidy, which I was approved recently. But my girls are going to start daycare in VA next week so, too late.
I miss my daughters every single day. Some days I do not feel like a mother. I use to wake up, my husband and I take the girls to daycare, go to work, come home, pick up the girls and my other job as a mother continues. Now, I have this old familiar freedom that I would trade just to have my girls with me in New York. It is a sad life I have now, which ends in October. I go to work and come to my mothers house. I now have so much time on my hands that I am able to study, watch my favorite shows and blog to you guys about my recent woos. But, I would give anything to have my girls.
Parenting from a distance. Who would have thought that my marriage would start with us living a part. Who would have thought that I had no choice but to have my kids live in their new state, new city, new community? I know they are not with a stranger, they are with their father, my amazing husband, but being away from my children is like a mother lion being away from her cubs.
A piece of me is missing.
This post is also dedicated to my husband. The only man that understands me, even with my faults, even with my "selfish thinking" he doesn't make me feel any less. He gets me. Being away from me and playing the role of mother and father has been rough on him but he has done a great job. Speaking to my girls and my husband tonight inspired me to right this post.
Simply amazing. I don't know any man that can handle two year old twins like my husband. He is father of the century in my opinion.
I get to see the girls and my husband again this weekend, Labor Day Weekend and I am going to enjoy every morsel!