Transitioning from Stay at Home to Working Mom Part 1

Happy Wednesday! I was suppose to blog yesterday, but I have finals that I need to take care of and most importantly, I wanted to spend time with my family, because roughly two weeks...I will joining the rest of the working moms in the workforce. Excited? Yes. Sad? Very much so.

Saying Goodbye to Staying at Home 

Just when I was I coming to grips of being a stay at home mom, (after 9 months), putting all my faith and stress into God's hands, I received a phone call for a job interview who I sent my resume to over a month ago. I was thrilled! Went to the interview, sent my thank you e-mail and yesterday I received the news that I was offered the position. It was everything that I was looking for, meaning I was ready to go back to join the workforce.

Why?

Some may think I am crazy to have the opportunity to stay at home with my children and watch them grow and develop. Do not get me wrong, I loved it, let me rephrased, I recently began to embrace being home. Before I was very stressed with homework, trying to start a business, cleaning the house, taking care of the kids, my fiance doing as much as he could to help me out after a hard day of work and finances. After speaking with my mother and my fiance, I realized that I needed to just RELAX, something I never done in my life. I put my own business on hold (but not my non profit), I focused on school and I spent every last minute with my children, enjoying every little thing that they did. I didn't worry about a job. I would send a resume here or there but I wasn't too concern. I knew God had a plan for me because I was never out of a job this long; I was no longer afraid about how we would pay bills, because I knew God was going to protect us. Sidebar, I do not know how many of my readers are religious or not, but I am and I will never push religion on anyone nor will I dedicate a specific blog on my religion.

Yet, staying at home was taken a toll on me. I do not have many friends and the friends that I do have live in New York. It is kind of hard to visit friends in New Jersey when my fiance has the car to go to work, I can't get on the bus with a double stroller and there isn't much around. However, I managed. Being confined to the walls of my house every day, forgetting to shower, sleeping while the girls slept, which resulted in me not getting a lot of my work done, was making me go stir crazy.

What I Will Miss About Staying At Home 


The perk of staying at home was the watching the girls develop. Since they were born premature, every milestone is such a huge achievement for Aaron and I. My girls are who I am going to miss. Nothing more.

Trying to Find Day Care 


I am so last minute. To put things in perspective; I am not rich; no where near and therefore rely on public assistance such as WIC to take care of my children. I especially need to rely on public assistance for child care, however, it takes 45 days to process the application. I spent all day today looking at day care, stressed out about the prices, figuring out how I am going to afford this. I know, God will have a way for me.

Ask MiMi Mondays: Playing together and Your First Mothers Day

Dear Mimi, 
I am going to be a new mother of twin girls, identical, and I wanted to know how has it been playing together with your sister? Also, what did you do for your mother on Mother's Day? 

- Evelyn, Orlando Florida

Hi Evy!

Thank you for your question. I have loved my sister ever since we were days old, but she always ignored me. Every time mommy would bring her in the room, I would laugh and smile and she would just turn her head. It wasn't until we were able to sit up on our own that she finally realized hey that is my twin sister Milani! I like her. Mommy and GiGi got us a play pen for our room and now we sit in it with all of our toys and play. Sometimes Mya will take all the toys from me and hide them behind her back so that I can't get them, but that's okay, because mommy will come in and take the toys from behind her back and let me play with them or she will give me some more toys. I am not bothered by Mya taken the toys, as long as she doesn't take my pacy,which she loves to do also. My pacy is always attached to my onesie and she will reach over and grab it! I don't like that! Now I know when I take a toy from her, she isn't mad, she just finds something else. We are learning to share.

Sometimes it gets rough because Mya will get very excited and topple over and kick me! Then I scream so loud that mommy comes running in and saves me. I know Mya doesn't mean it, but I wish she was more aware of her surroundings! When I fall over, I like to pull Mya's hair, she doesn't mind though; I like how it feels. We are working on getting along in the play pen. When mommy does tummy time with us, Mya likes to keep to herself and crawl around the room and explore, I like to stay in one spot and play with my pacy.

Daddy and I went out to get mommy flowers for mothers day and my sister and I helped cook breakfast. When I say helped, we watch Yo Gabba Gabba and kept quiet so that daddy could prepare breakfast. We even wrote her a card. While she went out to see GiGi and our cousins, we stayed home with daddy and played Gears of War 3 and ate. I missed mommy though.

- MiMi

Have questions for the twins? Email us at preemietwinsme@gmail.com

Stay At Home Mom or Go Back To Work?

I had an interview yesterday, the first in almost a year. Since the girls were born, I have been out of work. I decided not to go back to my previous job because it was part time and every week the executive director was cutting my hours. I digress.

I thought my interview went okay. After every interview, I feel I could have said more or gave extra eye contact. There is always something that I could have done MORE of. As I rode the train to New York Penn Station, it hit me. If I get this job, what am I going to do with the children?

I Do Not Live in a House with a White Picket Fence


For some, to find a job is a no brainer. However, I did not realize how much I would sacrifice for the sake of my children. As my family lives off one income and although we often struggle, finding the right career is an important aspect. Where I once could take any job to make ends meet in this economy, with children I have to find a job where my family can live and I am not working just to pay for day care. Can you imagine how much day care will cost in New Jersey for TWO children? By the grace of God, my family have been able to survive, but as I think about working again, so many questions come into mind. Where are going to place the girls? Are they too young for day care? Who is going to pick them up? Who is going to drop them off? Will my job schedule allow me to do this?

Joy of Being a Stay at Home Mom


Becoming a stay at home mom was not a choice. I planned on finding a job as soon as the girls were 3 months, but life did not happen that way. It became much harder to get a call back from companies due to the economic recession, what kind of job I was looking etc.; a lot of factors effected my job hunt. As I mentioned, I could not take just any job, it had to be enough to afford day care and still be able to have fun. While my fiance continued to work, I transitioned into my role as mother and homemaker, a rough transition I must add. Besides, being a mother I was (and still am) a student working towards my master's degree. Even now, I am not sure how I will work when I need to finish my degree, which includes a practicum and an internship. With stress of bills and time, I love being home with my girls. Due to their status of being born premature, it was important to me to work on their development. I did not want to come up with excuses as to why they are not hitting milestones because they were born premature. I wanted to make sure that they could do just as much (even more) as full term babies. However, I know some things are out of my control.

Although I am in the house most of the time, I love watching my girls, not missing any moment. We go the park, we go to the library, run errands, etc. It is fascinating how much they have grown and if I was at work, I would miss it.

Going Back To Work


I am not sure if I am going to get the position, but if I do, I know I am going to miss the girls. When I came home from the interview, Mya and Milani were in their walker and as soon as I came into the door, Mya ran toward me. My heart melt. I am not sure if that is something I could pass up if I go back to work, regardless of the bills and one income. For my sanity, this a decision that I may have to do.

What are your thoughts?

For Moms by Moms : Let Me Introduce Myself

Hi everyone!

For those who do not know, I am mom of multiples (twins to be specific) and today I am linking up with Heather from Just Wait Till You Have Kids Monday link up Introduce Ourselves.

I am Jamila, I am mother of twin fraternal girls who are 9 months old now Mya and Milani. I did not know that I was pregnant with twins until I was 13 weeks and the ultrasound technician informed me after I told her that I already had a sonogram with a picture of one bean! My pregnancy was smooth sailing aside from the constant morning sickness, back aches, feet swelling and irritability but a week after mothers day I received the most shocking news....

24 weeks pregnant, my cervix opened 1 cm. Spending one week in the hospital, my doctor told me that I was officially on bed rest. I spent one month at my mothers house because she was close the hospital where I was to deliver and my doctor and I spent the next month at home in New Jersey because I missed my fiance and my dog Snoopy. July 18th 2011, my fiance and I drove to Brooklyn, New York to the hospital to start the weekly check up of the girls heart when the nurse told me that I was having contractions...again. I was admitted into the hospital and July 19th, 2011 at 6pm Mya arrived weighing 3 lb 9 oz and at 6:01pm Milani arrived weighing 3 lb 1 oz all via c-section. Less than a month in the NICU with no complications other than to learn to feed and gain weight, a day before my baby shower, Mya came home and week later Milani came home and my family was complete. This is a brief summary of my entire pregnancy.

It was not difficult being a mother of preemies, it has been a journey being a NEW mom of twins; but like I say, God will give what you can handle and he knows that my fiance and I can handle this.

I am a writer, received my B.A. in print journalism and I am working on my M.S. in Mental Health Counseling. I am from Brooklyn, NY but now reside in New Jersey. I am getting married September 29th 2012 and my goal is to make my girls famous, have a great career, not stress about finances and to become a popular mom blogger.

I do not have many friends and I am searching to connect with moms like myself, stay at home (temporarily) and moms that have multiples.

Read my blog and find out about parenting tips and my journey with the girls.

Happy Reading!

Milani's First Tooth Is Coming In

Milani, 9 months

Since the girls started teething around 4 months (2 months adjusted) I was already used to the sporadic pull of my finger into their mouths, gnawing ease the pain of their gums. Wednesday night, the family and I were sitting on the couch, Mya was in the walker and Milani was sitting on my lap. As usual, she pulled my finger into her mouth and started to chew on it. I was checking my messages on the phone when suddenly I screamed "OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!" and drew my finger out of her mouth. Although startled, Milani laughed started reaching for the remote and any other objects close by that she could put in her mouth. I shook my finger from the pain when it hit me, was that a tooth I felt?

Immediately, I jammed my finger back into Milani's mouth, which she didn't mind of course and I ran my finger across her bottom gums until I felt the sharp prick from earlier and there it was; the beginning of Milani's first tooth coming in.

I screamed with delight! "Aaron, Aaron, her tooth is coming in!" I exclaimed but my fiance didn't budge, just smiled. I picked up Milani and went into her room so that I could see the tooth in better lighting. Unfortunately, that was easier said then done. Milani fought with me with her tongue and I could not get a clear view of the tooth. Using my pinky finger to push back her tongue, I saw, ever so slightly, the top of the tooth. I was filled with excitement again. Sorry, I could not get a picture because she won't let me and it is very hard to see.

I placed Milani in her walker and took out Mya so  I could see if she had any teeth coming in; nope not yet.

That night I really understood to cherish each moment with my children because they grow up so fast. It feels like yesterday that I was told that my cervix had opened to 3 cm and I was delivering via c-section at 32 weeks on Tuesday, July 19th, 2011; Mya weighing 3 lbs 9 oz and Milani 3 lbs 1 oz.

Eczema Weekend Blues and Happy 9 Months

It is often hard to keep up with this blog even though I am still a stay at home mom. I do have a few other things on my plate such as trying to start a non profit organization, school work and the most important taking care of my twin girls and my soon to be husband in a couple of months. When I once complained that days went by slowly as I stayed at home bored, now the days go by too quickly that I barely put a dent in my things to do list. If the girls are napping, I can't help but take a snooze myself.

This weekend was a surprise because the weather said that it was going to rain on Saturday. I hate rain on Saturday's, I prefer rain on Sundays, which it did. Saturday my father and my little brother came over to see the new apartment and spend time with the girls, which was a real treat. My father and I had a really close relationship when I was younger but it drifted after my parents separated and as I got older, we started to clash...a lot. It wasn't until his 60th birthday that I decided the over 8 months of not speaking had to end. We never talked about the issue between us, just moved on because it was important that he was in my girls life.

He has become the best grandfather that my girls could ever have. He loves them so much and so does my brother who is 5 years old.

Before my dad and my brother came over, I had an aching feeling that I needed to take one of the twins, Milani to the doctor. About three weeks ago, Milani broke out all over her face in red bumps. One day she had smooth skin and the next day her face had a huge rash on it and she consistently rubbed her eyes and her face. My first thought was an allergic reaction (still is a thought in my head) but I didn't know to what. I hadn't changed anything her diet to make her break out.

When a babies skin is irritated or dry, there is only one word that makes everything all better. AQUAPHOR! Although it is really vasline, this stuff seems so powerful for babies. I immediately applied it on her face, probably all day. The bumps then transformed into dry patches of skin. Luckily, that week of the break out, I was taking the girls to the doctor.

Mya, was diagnosed with Eczema when she was four months and we (my fiance and I) apply medication when needed. Milani never had a problem with her skin until now.

The doctor told me that Milani had Eczema as well but the medication that Mya has is too strong for Milani's face. She suggested using Aquaphor or Aveeno lotion.

A couple of days after that, Milani's skin cleared but then....

she received a huge rash on her right eye that she constantly rubs and it is still there to this day.

Saturday, I took her to the doctor, in which the doctor reconfirmed that it was Eczema and prescribed claritian oral once a day 2 ml.

I found this cream that my fiance uses for his Eczema and lightly apply it to Milani's eye as well as a cold compress, but it doesn't seem to do anything. I even see it appearing on the other eye.

Yet, she is in great spirits. She seems pretty normal; happy, friendly and smiling. I will keep everyone posted on the Eczema. I wish I could give advice for those who are experiencing the same thing, but I am in the clueless boat like every other mother. Because they are so young, there isn't much I could do.

Another a note, I never got to write a Happy 9 months post, so here it is.

Mya
Weight: 21 lbs 6 oz

Height: 26 1/2 inches (Yes she is short, but she was 16 inches when she was born)

What she is doing now: Not much has changed since they are only 9 months and 4 days old but she is still grabbing. She now knows how to move in the walker so well that she can follow my fiance and I and is now pulling stuff off shelves. She is still trying to lift her self up and she is trying to crawl even more. She can reach for objects in tummy time and crawl to the objects a little bit. Mya can also roll over...when she wants to. Mya loves to be spun around, hung upside down, thrown in the air and loves to do back flips.

Milani
Weight: 20 lbs

Height: 26 inches

What she is doing now: Milani thinks she can feed her self as she constantly grabbing the spoon out of my hand and putting it in her mouth. Well, she puts a lot of objects in her mouth. She loves the walker and she has discovered how to roll back and forth. She can reach for objects during tummy time and discovered a new way to laugh, which is very funny. Milani loves to be spun around and like her sister, loves Yo Gabba Gabba.

Weight Watchers Wednesday: Worry about the Stretch Marks Later

I dedicate every Wednesdays to blog about my journey with weight loss, or lack there of. A couple of days ago I looked in the mirror and was disgusted what I saw. I couldn't believe I had let myself go and using the I had kids excuse was no longer becoming valid (they are 8 months now).

My usual plan is that I start something and then I can't finish it. I ether get bored or I just get bored. I am stay at home mom and surviving on one income and therefore cannot afford to go the gym. I usually do Zumba, but I would get too tired to do it. Finally, I decided I needed to get my act together.

I am getting married 5 months! Not only that, I am 26 years old and too young to have a belly, kids or no kids. Monday, I began to get serious.

I have been a member of Weight Watchers for three months and finally began to get consistent. I struggled with what I could eat and affording food in the house was also a challenge. Monday, I finally stuck to my points plan and said good bye to McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy's, Pizza, Burgers, Fried Chicken and said hello to fruits, vegetables and smaller portions. I must say, Monday, Tuesday and Today were great days.

I decided that I needed to have a plan of attack. I wake up around 7:00 am before the girls wake up for their morning feeding. Put in 44-47 minutes of Zumba on the Wii a day (I am waiting for my insanity DVD to be delivered) and I stick to low point foods and constantly try to eat power foods, which are the fruits and vegetables when I find myself getting hungry.

My favorite advice that I received from Weight Watchers was...

SIX GLASSES OF WATER EQUALS THREE 16 OZ BOTTLES OF WATER!!!!

I hate water, but if I can drink four bottles of water I have consumed my 8 glasses for the day. So far, I have managed to drink two, which is four glasses of water.

I am 155 lbs, I am trying to get down to 137 lbs.

Christmas 2010, a month before I found out I was pregant

31 weeks

Me Now with Milani