Were you Born to Be a Mothe

So much has happened these past couple of days. I started my new job on Tuesday and I must say that I am rather enjoying it. The person I am replacing is amazing; she is staying for a month to train me. I couldn't be more blessed. When I came home on Tuesday, Mya decided that she was going to pull her self up into a standing position, Milani's top front tooth along with her side tooth and the already growing bottom two teeth are appearing; it was an eventful Tuesday.

To help ease the financial blow, my mother decided to take a week off from work and watch the girls for us, which is a blessing in itself. Today, is my mother's birthday and as I reflect on how great, fantastic, one of a kind of mother she is, it also became a topic for this blog; assuming the role as a mother.

Who Teaches Us?


How does one automatically fall into the role of being a mother when they have never been one before? It is a question that I use to ask myself (and I still do) before I was pregnant. It is an interesting thought; women carry another human being inside of her for 9 months (or less) and then, they are automatically nurturing, caring and protective, when they never had to before.

As soon as my girls were born, I automatically went from being young, carefree, still trying to figure out my life, to mama lion, instantly. When my girls cried, I knew to swaddle and cuddle them, I knew to prepare bottles, change them, bathe them, talk to them and tell them I loved them. But how? How did I know to do these things without any practice or anything to compare to? Some instances of course were challenging, such as feeding, not know what every cry meant, what their likes and dislikes were, but my motherly instinct, where did that come from?

I soon realized that carrying the girls for as long as I could established a relationship that only use three shared; a relationship that my fiance had to build as soon as they were born. Because they were inside me, connected to my emotions, we had an instant bond. Although they did not know me as well as I was beginning to know them, our bond began in the womb.

An excellent point of reference is my own mother. I remember (as far back as I could) that she would do any and everything for me. My mother played with me, made sure I had the best of every thing to the point that I did not know that were financially strapped. She was a nurture, naturally, and I always felt safe. To this day, I can always count on her.

I take the love my mother showed me and display that with my children. My mother is not a perfect women, but the best attributes of her (and there are many) I take and use for myself to show my children that they are loved. I do not agree with every aspect of how she parent and what I have opinions on I would do differently but for the most part, my mom was (is) the best.

I Was Not Born To Be a Mother


Jennifer Garner who played Vanessa in the movie Juno, said that she was born to be a mother. It is a saying that I have heard often from others; not just on television. I know I was not born to be just a mother. There was point in my life that I found it laughable, me, raising children, when I don't really like them. My cousin's use to always cringe at the thought of me pregnant. "I can't see you with a baby," they would always say. I couldn't agree more.

When you find someone that you love it is hard not to want to have a family with them; and so the role of a mother became natural for me. There are times that I sit and watch my girls sleep and can't believe that I created someone so special. it is unreal. However, being a mother was not a priority on my list of goals. In fact, I was one that wanted to be financially established before I had children. Funny how life has different plans for you; it is funny how God has a different plan for you.

God always gives you what you can handle, and two years ago, he know that I was not ready to handle the responsibility of caring for another and therefore I had a miscarriage. If I knew then, that God had bigger plans for me, a bigger blessing of giving me twins, I would not have been so sad. I thought the miscarriage was sign that my role in life was not be a mother, I would never have children.

After the miscarriage, I didn't ever want to try to have children again, for the thought of going through another miscarriage would be too traumatic and therefore, I began to focus on others activities in life. As I said to my hair dresser, who experience the same as I (who is now pregnant), when you least expect it, when you are not even trying, it will happen. For me it did and for her did as well.

I digress.

If You Could Do It All Again


I get this question a lot, "would you have more children?"or "would you try for a boy?" Most do not know (well you do now) that my fiance has other children and therefore, trying for another is not in our plans. I would like to adopt however, but I am not sure if I would do it all again. I do not regret, not one inch of my pregnancy. The experience was great and I love being a mom, to the point that I want to be a mother to child that does not have one. But to be pregnant again is more difficult to answer because I would be high risk and when I reached 16 weeks, I would have to have shots every week; not sure if it is worth it.

I use to ask myself "why do women have more children?" As I watch my girls develop from tiny babies to thriving almost toddlers, time flies rather quickly. I do not miss the days that they did not sleep and cried every five minutes, but I do miss how small they were, how innocent they were.

Being a mother is wonderful; it amazes me how many of my friends, acquaintances and those I have gone to school with are mother's as well. I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything.

Memorial Day: Time to Think About my DAMN Self!

Happy Memorial Day! I hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine and the sweet smell of BBQ. This weekend was pretty chill except Sunday, when I was baptized! I waited for this moment for months after the completion of my new disciples class and it was something that I needed to do for myself. I was very nervous but as I hit the cold water, I was filled with His presence, joy and accomplishment.

Sunday, was the highlight of my weekend. Saturday, my fiances brother and his girlfriend stopped by and I am always happy to see them. If I was speaking with my former friend, I would say to her, "take note, this is what you do when you care about someone, you stop being selfish, an opportunist and you come out and visit with you friend," however, she is still selfish and will never see this post or get the picture.

With my walk with God, I have noticed the people that were in my life, were not necessarily the people I NEEDED in my life. Sister Fleeta said it best, sometimes people will walk out of your life because you have more of an insight on your life, you are a new person. With my former friend, we just out grew each other or maybe we just never knew each other as we thought. Sometimes, friends serve their purpose and I think she served hers, as did I. Maybe down the line, we will meet again, right now, I do not see that happening.

However, I digress. This is blog IS NOT ABOUT HER, I wouldn't even give her the satisfaction. This blog entry is about what it says in the header, my DAMN SELF.

Putting Your Kids Before You


I remember spending time with a certain sorority sister years ago and each time we went out, she always had to stop and get something for her kids; it could have been anything, a toy, clothing, anything and I could not understand why. I wondered, do you not want something for yourself? Why is it necessary to buy something for them each time we go out? Her actions use to annoy me. Now that I have my own children, I see things clearly; as a mother, even as a father, you just can't help it. We want the best for our children, they are always on our minds and personally, I can't get enough of baby items. When we focus on our children more than ourselves, we tend to loose who we are. I do not have enough fingers and toes to count as to how many times I speak about children, take pictures of them. I can, however count how many times I have gotten a pedicure, my hair done, nails done or purchased a new outfit.

Letting Yourself Go


I was thinking back one day of how I use to spend the night at my cousin's house and every Saturday morning, my Aunt Charlotte would ask me to go to the store for her. Immediately, I would get up and go to the bathroom. She would knock on the door asking me what I was doing. I would reply, "getting dress." Irritated she was say, "I just want you to go to the store, Jamila, just put on some clothes and go." I could not do that. I had to wash up, do my hair, look presentable. I would not be caught dead with head scarf and mix match clothes to go outside where people would see. I cared about how I look.

At 26 years old, my appearance has become the least of my worries and that is not a good thing, it is not a great thing. Financial set backs has been a reoccurring problem for a couple of years to the point I could not afford to look fabulous. Instead of getting lavish weaves, I opt to do my own relaxer and wigs. Instead of shopping at Macy's, Lord and Taylors, I had to shop at Easy Pickins, Forever 21 and sometimes H&M. Nothing is wrong with the places I mentioned, it has actually taught me how to look great for less, but it was a step down to what I was use to. I stopped getting my nails done and my toes and I would actually go outside with my head scarf and my toes with peeled nail polish and was okay with that. Now that I have kids, I care less about my presence, let me rephrase, I USE to care less about my presence. It was so easy to put on some leggings, sneakers and go out the door. How would I push a stroller in my 5 inch stilettos that I love to wear? I did not see it happening.

A Breakthrough


I start my new job tomorrow and as I thank God for this blessing to get my families lives back on track, I decided that I need to start caring about how I look. Not just for me, but for my man too. Yesterday was the first time in months that I took the time to put my make up on, which I loved to do). I took time to brush my hair. Don't get it twisted, I am no where near raggedy, I just stopped wearing clothes that said I am fabulous and ones that said "I am  a new mom and I am tired."

It is called budgeting, something I have to relearn how to do. I have to set aside money to get my nails down every two weeks, get my hair done every two to three months and purchase an outfit or to. It is time to live my age of 26 and not 51.

Advice


My new moms or veterans mom know what I am talking about, how easy it is to let go because it is just that, easy. Why put on the heels when I can put on the flats? Why take the time to dress up, do my hair, put on make up, get the kids ready, take the stroller down stairs, put the kids in the stroller just to go around the corner? Because it is comfortable. We forget that people are looking at us and although who cares what others think, we still do. I see young girls all the time just thrown together and I vow I will never look like that and then here I am doing the same thing.

Moms to be, you will be surprise how much your life will change when your children are born. How much your relationship will be tested, how sleep will become a distant memory, and how easy it will be to just conform to the mother attire, sweats and a t-shirt. Do not! I repeat DO NOT, always think about you.

Time management is key. When the babies are napping, either take a nap or take a shower.

When you are going out, set some time before, put on some Yo Gabba Gabba and take some self-care.

If Kimora Lee Simmons, Halle Berry, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez all look like they never gave birth (I forgot Mariah Carey), we can too.

I am back to my Insanity workout tomorrow. Back to being fabulous me!

NICU Moms Link Up

Happy Wednesday! I am linking up with Heather and other moms to give advice and share my story of being a NICU mom to twins.

Baby(s) Names: Mya and Milani

Milani

Mya

Gestation Age at Birth: 32 weeks and 2 days

Milani, August 18th 2011

Time in the NICU: Mya - 3 weeks, came home August 12th 2011, Milani - came home August 18th 2011

Birth Stats: Mya - 3 lb 9 oz & 16.5" and Milani - 3 lb 1 oz & 15.5"

Reason for NICU stay: 
The girls were breathing on their own the day they came into the world. They needed to gain weight, maintain body temperature on their own, and learn how to bottle feed before they were allowed to go home.

Mya, August 12th, 2011

Obstacles: Milani experienced sleep apnea the first couple of days so they had to give her caffeine. Mya had a blood transfusion. Both experienced Jaundice for a couple of days.

My Obstacles:

• Reassuring my friends and family that the girls were okay after seeing the pictures of the girls in the incubator. 
• Telling people not to feel sorry for them, when they would text a sad face as if something was wrong with my girls. 
• Not knowing when to leave the hospital! I spent every second with my girls, breastfeeding, talking to them, spending time with the nurses and other parents of twins. 
• Traveling to and from the hospital. 
• Getting the house ready for the girls arrival.  
• Not trying to give the stink face to those made clear that they did not want their babies born early as if they had control over it or if it would be such a bad thing.
• At a time the girls were on opposite of the NICU, so juggling times to spend with each one and feed each one. There were times my husband could not go to the hospital because he had to work.

Coping:
I was already prepared for my daughters to be born early and to stay in the hospital. Although, they didn't stay very long, it felt like forever. It was great to talk to the nurses, hear the girls progress and speak with other moms in the NICU. We knew the main reason that the girls were in the NICU because they were twins and most twins are born prematurely. I lost a lot of friends and did not speak to a lot of family members because of my girls being the hospital. Their excuse was that they did not want to see the girls like "that." For the first time, I am showing pictures of my girls and yes, they were not finished baking yet, but their was nothing wrong with them.

The book store was across the street from the hospital and I would go there every day and read more about prematurity.

Advice:

• It is okay if your baby is born early. The NICU is the best place for them to be. It may be a challenge, but you will be surprised how much support you will receive. 
• Be hands on with your baby. The nurses encourages parents to come in the NICU during feeding time so the parents can change their diapers, check temperature and feed them. 
• Do not depend on the monitors! The monitors can be distracting, but do not rely on them because you will not have them when you come home with your little one. 
• Do not get offended if family or friends do not understand. Some think that a stay in the NICU is a sad thing or seeing your baby with tubes in their nose is the worst thing ever. It is not! The NICU is to help the baby not harm. Try explaining that to your love ones or show pictures of your babies to those who understand. 
• Document, Document, Document! Have fun with the journey and capture every moment. Jot down notes or blog everything. I took videos as well, which I will show below. 
• Be ready for the challenge. There are some milestones that your little one will not reach on time and there are some that they will be right on target. Do not treat them any differently. 

Here is a video of Mya and Milani during their stay in the NICU. This is just example to show how far they have come and where they are headed.

I would love to read your thoughts!

Mya and Milani: 10 Month Check Up

Happy Tuesday! I know we are late with the blog today, but Mya and Milani had their 10 month check up today. Here are the stats and milestones they reached at 9 months. *The girls turned 10 months, Saturday, May 19th, 2012.

Mya "the diva" 

Weight: 23 lb 5 oz

Height: 29 inches 

75th Percentile 

Milestones at 9 months: 

• Sucks Thumb
• Puts feet in mouth 
• Rollover both ways 
• Pulling up to stand (Doesn't quite have it yet)
• Crawling backwards, just not on her knees
• Can turn around on tummy time
• Bangs with hands
• Grabs even more 
• Screams louder 
• Still loves Yo Gabba Gabba and playing with her sister 
• Can follow in the Walker, go into different rooms 

Milani "Reeses" 

Weight: 21 lb 6 oz

Height: 28 1/2 inches

75th Percentile

Milestones at 9 months:

• Rollover both ways 
• 5/12/2012 - First tooth comes in
• Bangs with both hands 
• Grabs everything and puts items in mouth
• Grabs face
• Puts foot in mouth
• Grabs her hair
• Holds Sippy Cup with some support
• Moves a little more in the Walker

Milestone at the start of 10 months:

• Gets on knees and crawls backwards

At 9 months we also received a gently used Double Stroller from our church friend.

 The doctor said that it is time to introduce them to table food, so we will give it try tonight. Also, here is a picture of our new edition to our family.

The orange one is DJ Lance Rock, the bigger black one is Onyx and the smaller one is Onyx Jr. 

For MOMS by MOMS- Baby Gear

Today is another Monday link up with Amanda, Megan, Heather and Jennifer to discuss baby gear for multiples. My list can also be related to moms who have singles, expectant moms and those who are just interested in babies. I am not paid to give reviews on the gear and again these are my opinions based on my experiences of being a mom.

Advice # 1: Moms of Multiples, start your registry early, plan your baby shower EARLY


Advice I wished I listen to almost a year ago. To add to the advice, never listen to friends, especially those who have children. My former friend (yes, former) was very negative through out my pregnancy. She wasn't too keen on me announcing the world that I was pregnant at 11weeks (before I found out that I was having twins) because she said and I quote "you never know what can happen during your pregnancy, you may loose the baby." From that response, I waited and waited to start my baby registry to the point that this same friend would ask "when are you starting your registry? When are you planning your shower?" Well, one thing that this friend said was correct, you never know what can happen during pregnancy, in which I was put on bed rest at 24 weeks and I delivered a month before my baby shower, which was schedule August 13th 2011. Before I was put on bed rest, I wanted to have the baby shower in July, but everyone seemed to be busy. I even wanted to have it in June, but I thought that was way too early.

Always go with your gut feeling and remember, this is YOUR baby shower. You do not have to accommodate people, they need to accommodate you. Those who are carrying multiples, start your registry at least by 20 weeks.

Two of Everything? Maybe


When I found out that I was having twins, everyone reaction was the same, you are going to need TWO OF EVERYTHING! Yes and no. Truth moment, I am not rich. My husband and I struggle to survive and if it wasn't for the support of our family and some friends, we would not have anything, my girls would not have much. We are so grateful that we can provide for them as much as we could and have love ones that do the same. There are some items that they can really share. Depending on your space, some big items you may want to get one of, such as a walker. It also depends on the personality of the babies. Although I did eventually buy another walker, I started with just one because of the twins love to walk and the other was pretty content in the pack in play or the activity seat.

My Top Picks of Baby Gear 


I tried to find my registry on target.com, however, it was almost a year ago and it is GONE! This list contains items that I have used and items that I wished I used in the beginning.

The Girls and I Reading Dr. Seuss at 3 months

1. Boppy: This is just a given item to have. I used it when the girls were 3 months because they were trying to sit up, they like to lean back as well and it is a great substitute for lying them on the bed. Do not let them sleep in it however because they will try. I never used it to feed them because one of my twins had reflux, but it was wonderful to use when we were reading. I am huge on using gently used items. When you have twins, the cost of the babies DOUBLE! If you have friends or family members who take care of their items and they have baby stuff, clothes, cribs, etc. TAKE THEM! I was lucky to receive two boppies from my mother's co-worker, in excellent condition. Always wash the gently used items. Because I take care of my stuff, I now can give them away to those who need them.

2. Bright Starts Comfort and Harmony Cradling Bouncer: This was on my registry and it is such an affordable bouncer. It vibrates, plays music and has a lot of cushion. My girls do not use this any more, but it was great when they were one to two months especially when they were not sleeping in their cribs. I also recommend a swing, which you can see in the picture that was given to us. The swing is Fisher Price, but they do not make that particular one any more. Click here to purchase.

The Pink Bouncer is Bright Starts

3. Baby Trend Snap and Go Stroller Frame: Thanks to my mom, this is the best option for moms with twins. It is an affordable stroller frame that works for almost any brand of car seats. When they are newborns, it is hard to find a stroller that will accommodate two. The stroller frame is convenient because you just place the car seat in the frame and go. It does not take up a lot of space. Click here for a better picture.

Two Months, first day out in the Stroller Frame

4. NoseFrida: When my girls had RSV, click here for my blog on that topic, they had so much mucus that the normal nose suction was not working. My doctor, after throwing out my nos suction, told me about the NoseFrida. For around $15.00, this device will save your life! You control the intensity of the suction, because... You are the suction! It does not irritate the baby and you will be surprise how much mucus comes out that the typical suction misses. To purchase, click here

5. Sony 900MHz BabyCall Nursery Monitor with 2 Receivers: When I first received the baby monitor, I loved it! Now, it gets on my nerves and I rarely use it! It is great for the first couple of months, but it is annoying when you just want to sleep and every five minutes, one of the babies are crying. It is great if your babies have their own room. To purchase, click here.

6. Diaper Genie: I have read several blogs, bashing the diaper genie as one of the baby gear that you can live without, including the changing table, wipe warmers, etc. Well as a mom who changes over 16 diapers a day, the diaper genie is a life saver. I live in an apartment building, in which the garbage is collect two times a week. Before the diaper genie, we had to toss the diapers in our garbage and take out the garbage every day, wasting bags. Some say, that a typical trash can will suffice, but I disagree. the Diaper Genie covers the smell (you can also by baking powder scents to clip on the diaper genie) of the diapers and although the Diaper Genie trash bags are costly, it is worth it. To purchase, click here.

7. Baby Buddy 5 Pack Size-It Closet Organizers: For any mom this would be a life saver, but moms of multiples will find this to be the best thing since slice bread. With all of the clothes that you will receive from the baby shower, people donating, etc. it is hard to keep track of all of the sizes. There are times where my girls grew out of clothes because I did not know I had them. To purchase, click here.  

8. Summer Infant Super Seat Booster/Infant Positioner:  Great for mealtime and playtime. It provides a secure and comfortable area for growing infants to learn to sit up and interact with the environment around them while enjoying happy playtime. All states have a 3-point crotch restraint for baby's safety and 2 sets of chair straps for added security. To purchase click here.

9. Fisher Price Ocean Wonders: One of my favorites. The girls are intrigued by the movements, ocean sounds and soothing tunes. To purchase, click here.

10. First Years Sure Comfort Deluxe Tub: Has a sling for newborn's first bath. It also has another side for infant, when they are able to sit up. It is an affordable tub that has a drainer for the water. To purchase, click here

There are so many things I could discuss, but here is a quick list, click the text to view the rest of my go to baby gear.

• Affordable high chair from Ikea 
• Tomme Tippee Explora Section Dishes 
• Nuby spoons 
• Circo Easy Wipe Bibs 2 pack
• Munchkin Bottle Brush 

My Biggest Challenge in Being a New Mom

This is a challenge even if I had one child. One would think that my challenges of being a mom of twin girls, would be just that, being a mom of twin girls. To be honest, after the first couple of months, things have settled down, especially since they sleep through the night, have a schedule down pack and their personality shines more and more. However, there is a bigger challenge that I continue to face every day and no, it is not feeding, which I love to do because they grab the spoon, smack their food, it is a real joy, but I digress.

Every morning I wake up with a pit in my stomach because I know that I have to face this challenge all day and figure out the best way it will work. The first to wake up in the morning is Mya. I know this because I hear her giggling and rolling around from the monitor. I walk into the room (Milani is sound asleep) and every day I am greeted by the biggest smile from Mya. The mornings is when Mya is less fussy and full of happiness. I look down and my heart starts beating. "Just breathe," I say to myself. I pull the covers off of Mya and there it is. The fluid filled (and sometimes a solid) diaper.

Now, it is the not the contents of the diaper that is the challenge, it is putting on the diaper that has been my biggest obstacle. Yes, I will admit, my biggest obstacle is how to put on a diaper.

And it looks so easy. I use to laugh at the kids on MTV's 16 and Pregnant, particularly one episode where the kids were practicing putting on a diaper on cat. I use to think, why do you need to practice, how hard could it be. Even for a 26 year old, I should have practiced on a cat.

I do not know what it is. I just can't seem to get the corners of the diaper to match with the sticky part. I either make the diaper too small or too lose, where some of the "contents" spill out resulting in another onesie that is added to the already piled up laundry. It doesn't help either that my girls move around, rolling over every time I attempt to put on a diaper.

It is even more frustrating when my fiance puts on the diaper perfectly. It is smooth around the corners and the girls little booty are covered; a complete opposite of what my diapers look like. Even my mom ask me every time, "how did you put on that diaper?"

Give me a crying child any day, but PLEASE do not force me to put on a new diaper! It will take me 10 minutes rather than the 30 seconds it ought too.

Anyone else has this problem? Love to hear from you!

Transitioning from Stay at Home to Working Mom Part 1

Happy Wednesday! I was suppose to blog yesterday, but I have finals that I need to take care of and most importantly, I wanted to spend time with my family, because roughly two weeks...I will joining the rest of the working moms in the workforce. Excited? Yes. Sad? Very much so.

Saying Goodbye to Staying at Home 

Just when I was I coming to grips of being a stay at home mom, (after 9 months), putting all my faith and stress into God's hands, I received a phone call for a job interview who I sent my resume to over a month ago. I was thrilled! Went to the interview, sent my thank you e-mail and yesterday I received the news that I was offered the position. It was everything that I was looking for, meaning I was ready to go back to join the workforce.

Why?

Some may think I am crazy to have the opportunity to stay at home with my children and watch them grow and develop. Do not get me wrong, I loved it, let me rephrased, I recently began to embrace being home. Before I was very stressed with homework, trying to start a business, cleaning the house, taking care of the kids, my fiance doing as much as he could to help me out after a hard day of work and finances. After speaking with my mother and my fiance, I realized that I needed to just RELAX, something I never done in my life. I put my own business on hold (but not my non profit), I focused on school and I spent every last minute with my children, enjoying every little thing that they did. I didn't worry about a job. I would send a resume here or there but I wasn't too concern. I knew God had a plan for me because I was never out of a job this long; I was no longer afraid about how we would pay bills, because I knew God was going to protect us. Sidebar, I do not know how many of my readers are religious or not, but I am and I will never push religion on anyone nor will I dedicate a specific blog on my religion.

Yet, staying at home was taken a toll on me. I do not have many friends and the friends that I do have live in New York. It is kind of hard to visit friends in New Jersey when my fiance has the car to go to work, I can't get on the bus with a double stroller and there isn't much around. However, I managed. Being confined to the walls of my house every day, forgetting to shower, sleeping while the girls slept, which resulted in me not getting a lot of my work done, was making me go stir crazy.

What I Will Miss About Staying At Home 


The perk of staying at home was the watching the girls develop. Since they were born premature, every milestone is such a huge achievement for Aaron and I. My girls are who I am going to miss. Nothing more.

Trying to Find Day Care 


I am so last minute. To put things in perspective; I am not rich; no where near and therefore rely on public assistance such as WIC to take care of my children. I especially need to rely on public assistance for child care, however, it takes 45 days to process the application. I spent all day today looking at day care, stressed out about the prices, figuring out how I am going to afford this. I know, God will have a way for me.

Ask MiMi Mondays: Playing together and Your First Mothers Day

Dear Mimi, 
I am going to be a new mother of twin girls, identical, and I wanted to know how has it been playing together with your sister? Also, what did you do for your mother on Mother's Day? 

- Evelyn, Orlando Florida

Hi Evy!

Thank you for your question. I have loved my sister ever since we were days old, but she always ignored me. Every time mommy would bring her in the room, I would laugh and smile and she would just turn her head. It wasn't until we were able to sit up on our own that she finally realized hey that is my twin sister Milani! I like her. Mommy and GiGi got us a play pen for our room and now we sit in it with all of our toys and play. Sometimes Mya will take all the toys from me and hide them behind her back so that I can't get them, but that's okay, because mommy will come in and take the toys from behind her back and let me play with them or she will give me some more toys. I am not bothered by Mya taken the toys, as long as she doesn't take my pacy,which she loves to do also. My pacy is always attached to my onesie and she will reach over and grab it! I don't like that! Now I know when I take a toy from her, she isn't mad, she just finds something else. We are learning to share.

Sometimes it gets rough because Mya will get very excited and topple over and kick me! Then I scream so loud that mommy comes running in and saves me. I know Mya doesn't mean it, but I wish she was more aware of her surroundings! When I fall over, I like to pull Mya's hair, she doesn't mind though; I like how it feels. We are working on getting along in the play pen. When mommy does tummy time with us, Mya likes to keep to herself and crawl around the room and explore, I like to stay in one spot and play with my pacy.

Daddy and I went out to get mommy flowers for mothers day and my sister and I helped cook breakfast. When I say helped, we watch Yo Gabba Gabba and kept quiet so that daddy could prepare breakfast. We even wrote her a card. While she went out to see GiGi and our cousins, we stayed home with daddy and played Gears of War 3 and ate. I missed mommy though.

- MiMi

Have questions for the twins? Email us at preemietwinsme@gmail.com

Stay At Home Mom or Go Back To Work?

I had an interview yesterday, the first in almost a year. Since the girls were born, I have been out of work. I decided not to go back to my previous job because it was part time and every week the executive director was cutting my hours. I digress.

I thought my interview went okay. After every interview, I feel I could have said more or gave extra eye contact. There is always something that I could have done MORE of. As I rode the train to New York Penn Station, it hit me. If I get this job, what am I going to do with the children?

I Do Not Live in a House with a White Picket Fence


For some, to find a job is a no brainer. However, I did not realize how much I would sacrifice for the sake of my children. As my family lives off one income and although we often struggle, finding the right career is an important aspect. Where I once could take any job to make ends meet in this economy, with children I have to find a job where my family can live and I am not working just to pay for day care. Can you imagine how much day care will cost in New Jersey for TWO children? By the grace of God, my family have been able to survive, but as I think about working again, so many questions come into mind. Where are going to place the girls? Are they too young for day care? Who is going to pick them up? Who is going to drop them off? Will my job schedule allow me to do this?

Joy of Being a Stay at Home Mom


Becoming a stay at home mom was not a choice. I planned on finding a job as soon as the girls were 3 months, but life did not happen that way. It became much harder to get a call back from companies due to the economic recession, what kind of job I was looking etc.; a lot of factors effected my job hunt. As I mentioned, I could not take just any job, it had to be enough to afford day care and still be able to have fun. While my fiance continued to work, I transitioned into my role as mother and homemaker, a rough transition I must add. Besides, being a mother I was (and still am) a student working towards my master's degree. Even now, I am not sure how I will work when I need to finish my degree, which includes a practicum and an internship. With stress of bills and time, I love being home with my girls. Due to their status of being born premature, it was important to me to work on their development. I did not want to come up with excuses as to why they are not hitting milestones because they were born premature. I wanted to make sure that they could do just as much (even more) as full term babies. However, I know some things are out of my control.

Although I am in the house most of the time, I love watching my girls, not missing any moment. We go the park, we go to the library, run errands, etc. It is fascinating how much they have grown and if I was at work, I would miss it.

Going Back To Work


I am not sure if I am going to get the position, but if I do, I know I am going to miss the girls. When I came home from the interview, Mya and Milani were in their walker and as soon as I came into the door, Mya ran toward me. My heart melt. I am not sure if that is something I could pass up if I go back to work, regardless of the bills and one income. For my sanity, this a decision that I may have to do.

What are your thoughts?

For Moms by Moms : Let Me Introduce Myself

Hi everyone!

For those who do not know, I am mom of multiples (twins to be specific) and today I am linking up with Heather from Just Wait Till You Have Kids Monday link up Introduce Ourselves.

I am Jamila, I am mother of twin fraternal girls who are 9 months old now Mya and Milani. I did not know that I was pregnant with twins until I was 13 weeks and the ultrasound technician informed me after I told her that I already had a sonogram with a picture of one bean! My pregnancy was smooth sailing aside from the constant morning sickness, back aches, feet swelling and irritability but a week after mothers day I received the most shocking news....

24 weeks pregnant, my cervix opened 1 cm. Spending one week in the hospital, my doctor told me that I was officially on bed rest. I spent one month at my mothers house because she was close the hospital where I was to deliver and my doctor and I spent the next month at home in New Jersey because I missed my fiance and my dog Snoopy. July 18th 2011, my fiance and I drove to Brooklyn, New York to the hospital to start the weekly check up of the girls heart when the nurse told me that I was having contractions...again. I was admitted into the hospital and July 19th, 2011 at 6pm Mya arrived weighing 3 lb 9 oz and at 6:01pm Milani arrived weighing 3 lb 1 oz all via c-section. Less than a month in the NICU with no complications other than to learn to feed and gain weight, a day before my baby shower, Mya came home and week later Milani came home and my family was complete. This is a brief summary of my entire pregnancy.

It was not difficult being a mother of preemies, it has been a journey being a NEW mom of twins; but like I say, God will give what you can handle and he knows that my fiance and I can handle this.

I am a writer, received my B.A. in print journalism and I am working on my M.S. in Mental Health Counseling. I am from Brooklyn, NY but now reside in New Jersey. I am getting married September 29th 2012 and my goal is to make my girls famous, have a great career, not stress about finances and to become a popular mom blogger.

I do not have many friends and I am searching to connect with moms like myself, stay at home (temporarily) and moms that have multiples.

Read my blog and find out about parenting tips and my journey with the girls.

Happy Reading!

Milani's First Tooth Is Coming In

Milani, 9 months

Since the girls started teething around 4 months (2 months adjusted) I was already used to the sporadic pull of my finger into their mouths, gnawing ease the pain of their gums. Wednesday night, the family and I were sitting on the couch, Mya was in the walker and Milani was sitting on my lap. As usual, she pulled my finger into her mouth and started to chew on it. I was checking my messages on the phone when suddenly I screamed "OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!" and drew my finger out of her mouth. Although startled, Milani laughed started reaching for the remote and any other objects close by that she could put in her mouth. I shook my finger from the pain when it hit me, was that a tooth I felt?

Immediately, I jammed my finger back into Milani's mouth, which she didn't mind of course and I ran my finger across her bottom gums until I felt the sharp prick from earlier and there it was; the beginning of Milani's first tooth coming in.

I screamed with delight! "Aaron, Aaron, her tooth is coming in!" I exclaimed but my fiance didn't budge, just smiled. I picked up Milani and went into her room so that I could see the tooth in better lighting. Unfortunately, that was easier said then done. Milani fought with me with her tongue and I could not get a clear view of the tooth. Using my pinky finger to push back her tongue, I saw, ever so slightly, the top of the tooth. I was filled with excitement again. Sorry, I could not get a picture because she won't let me and it is very hard to see.

I placed Milani in her walker and took out Mya so  I could see if she had any teeth coming in; nope not yet.

That night I really understood to cherish each moment with my children because they grow up so fast. It feels like yesterday that I was told that my cervix had opened to 3 cm and I was delivering via c-section at 32 weeks on Tuesday, July 19th, 2011; Mya weighing 3 lbs 9 oz and Milani 3 lbs 1 oz.